Inspiration after a relaxing warm bath. I sat down to write my thoughts with pen and ink on paper. It is a slower way....
I just now sat down to write my thoughts on healing. When I say what I know about healing, I often hear objections. Sometimes anger from those I speak to, and I remained silent. Until now.
This is my year - to be Self expressed. Now, I have observed; studied; learned;.. suffered;.. grown;... and meditated.
It is all of these things, combined, and with one added ingredient, Listening to the teacher within.
In healing - you "know" where it is you need to go to heal. You don't even have to think about it - you make an appointment, or talk to a friend, or pray.
You already know. There is no right or wrong way for you to go about your healing.
Where the right and wrong comes in, is when the mind starts to exert its control. Your mind wants to control what you are reading and thinking right NOW
That is your minds job. Your mind is not wrong... or right.
NOW...what did you just think?
That thought...is not you. It was your mind thinking. Until you can see this, you may or may not like what you are reading. Your mind will decide "yes, I agree" or "no, she is wrong". Every mind will say that. As I write, my mind is saying alot of things too. That's what it does. I choose to listen or to ignore those thoughts.
In healing, your mind can control or help you in your healing. Your mind might say "I will not recover from this" or "I must have (this disease) . . because I (think, feel, or someone said) I do.
Here is where your choice or free will comes in. What is true for you? You only know what is true for you. I cannot tell you this..., only your own inner teacher, Self, knows. If you are thinking, or "trying to decide", or "confused", just keep practicing...listening.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Moodling about the One Year Anniversary of my bike accident!
My new favorite word (about what it takes to write creatively): moodling. I got it from a book about writing - that I bought at a garage sale recently - If You Want to Write - A Book About Art, Independence and Spirit, by Brenda Ueland - Brenda was a published author and teacher of writing who first published this book in 1938. She received an international swimming record for over-80-year-olds and was knighted by the King of Norway. She died at the age of 93 in 1985. She's a new one on my hero/heroine list.
In the words of Fievel: (from Fievel goes West) "Be your own hero". So I am moodling...get the idea? If you are still with me, then that's good. There will be a point to this.
One year later - what have I learned? I have learned to listen more than talk. (and it is not easy for me) I have learned that it's okay to cry every single time you feel like crying. I have learned it is okay to not cry every single time you feel like crying. It is very interesting having your filter off for a few months - I cried, laughed and talked too much. (and I still cry, laugh, and talk more than I used to)
What I got from being injured that badly, is a renewed belief in the human body's healing capacity. One year ago today, my face was bruised, scraped, and I could not type. I couldn't remember anything a second after I said or heard it (short term memory loss). I could not walk without holding onto the wall, bed or railing (vertigo for 6 weeks). I had severe bruises on my pelvis and knee and milder ones on shoulder and hands. And lots of headaches.
I could not do any yoga asanas without falling over.
I could still teach - and my students still came to my classes and
I learned that they love me and so do the teachers I work with in my studio. (thank you - all of you--I love you too)
I learned that there are crystals in your ear that get out of place and when they do, the whole world spins.
I learned that spinning causes intense nausea and that anti-motion sickness medicine is very useful and it slows down the spinning.
I learned that even though I hit my head really hard, that my brain would recover fully and
I got to see a picture of my brain on an MRI - with a brain tour given by the Dr. Noran himself of
Noran Clinic- who, by the way, said I have a beautiful brain and that it is not damaged and I will heal completely. He is the kind of doctor I like - tell it like it is and can be.
I learned that even the head of a corporate medical clinic is human and can even remind one of St. Nicolas.
I am very fond of him, and I told him that!
I learned that a simple maneuver - Epley maneuver - that can be done at home even with your husband helping - can get the spinning to stop immediately. However, it takes a couple of days sitting up all the time to get them to stay there. (you can find out how to do it on the internet!)
I learned that I don't need as much sleep as I think I do and that when you have a head injury the brain needs alot of sleep. I also learned that eating brain food DOES help you brain to heal plus USING IT!
I learned lots of exercises.
What I got out of the whole experience was something that is difficult to put into words. Anyone who has had a brush with death and lived through it will know what I mean. My body is not immortal, but I am. There is a peace about knowing that - no matter what pain you suffer, or circumstance, you, the essence of you, is still the same, unchanged. Yes, here are the words to describe this experience. I became connected to the essence of I am. Sometimes you have to get knocked out of your head to get that. Do yourself a favor though. Meditate - practice meditation. It is really less painful.
To conclude this chapter of my life, this big event, this past year.. It is in the past. There.
Want me to say more (yes? read on then) no? Stop reading!
I want to say more. I want to say that I lived through a trauma. Someone hit my bike, then left. That someone, a school bus driver, probably did not even know he(she) knicked my bicycle. That person was in a hurry. How many times are we in a hurry and don't even know what we are creating or destroying because of that?
All of that experience was a trauma. I also had symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder. It was not the first time I had this (PTSD) and recovered. Some people think you cannot recover from that. You may have heard this: If you think you can, you can, if you think you cannot: you cannot. Once again, when I spoke to Dr Noran, a neurologist, about how I was having reactions to seeing school buses and hearing sirens, he said "that's post traumatic stress disorder, it will fade away, you will heal and be fine". Thank you Dr. Noran : ).
Now - I still get growley at school buses, then..I laugh at myself. I still hear sirens and cringe a little, who doesn't? I had to let that go. I live very close to the fire and police stations and bus garage!
I let that go ...and now? I am learning internal martial arts, I am planning to teach yoga teacher training in Costa Rica, I am married to a beautiful, loving and spiritual man. I have a future to live in to that is filled with love, beauty and joy. Namaste
In the words of Fievel: (from Fievel goes West) "Be your own hero". So I am moodling...get the idea? If you are still with me, then that's good. There will be a point to this.
One year later - what have I learned? I have learned to listen more than talk. (and it is not easy for me) I have learned that it's okay to cry every single time you feel like crying. I have learned it is okay to not cry every single time you feel like crying. It is very interesting having your filter off for a few months - I cried, laughed and talked too much. (and I still cry, laugh, and talk more than I used to)
What I got from being injured that badly, is a renewed belief in the human body's healing capacity. One year ago today, my face was bruised, scraped, and I could not type. I couldn't remember anything a second after I said or heard it (short term memory loss). I could not walk without holding onto the wall, bed or railing (vertigo for 6 weeks). I had severe bruises on my pelvis and knee and milder ones on shoulder and hands. And lots of headaches.
I could not do any yoga asanas without falling over.
I could still teach - and my students still came to my classes and
I learned that they love me and so do the teachers I work with in my studio. (thank you - all of you--I love you too)
I learned that there are crystals in your ear that get out of place and when they do, the whole world spins.
I learned that spinning causes intense nausea and that anti-motion sickness medicine is very useful and it slows down the spinning.
I learned that even though I hit my head really hard, that my brain would recover fully and
I got to see a picture of my brain on an MRI - with a brain tour given by the Dr. Noran himself of
Noran Clinic- who, by the way, said I have a beautiful brain and that it is not damaged and I will heal completely. He is the kind of doctor I like - tell it like it is and can be.
I learned that even the head of a corporate medical clinic is human and can even remind one of St. Nicolas.
I am very fond of him, and I told him that!
I learned that a simple maneuver - Epley maneuver - that can be done at home even with your husband helping - can get the spinning to stop immediately. However, it takes a couple of days sitting up all the time to get them to stay there. (you can find out how to do it on the internet!)
I learned that I don't need as much sleep as I think I do and that when you have a head injury the brain needs alot of sleep. I also learned that eating brain food DOES help you brain to heal plus USING IT!
I learned lots of exercises.
What I got out of the whole experience was something that is difficult to put into words. Anyone who has had a brush with death and lived through it will know what I mean. My body is not immortal, but I am. There is a peace about knowing that - no matter what pain you suffer, or circumstance, you, the essence of you, is still the same, unchanged. Yes, here are the words to describe this experience. I became connected to the essence of I am. Sometimes you have to get knocked out of your head to get that. Do yourself a favor though. Meditate - practice meditation. It is really less painful.
To conclude this chapter of my life, this big event, this past year.. It is in the past. There.
Want me to say more (yes? read on then) no? Stop reading!
I want to say more. I want to say that I lived through a trauma. Someone hit my bike, then left. That someone, a school bus driver, probably did not even know he(she) knicked my bicycle. That person was in a hurry. How many times are we in a hurry and don't even know what we are creating or destroying because of that?
All of that experience was a trauma. I also had symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder. It was not the first time I had this (PTSD) and recovered. Some people think you cannot recover from that. You may have heard this: If you think you can, you can, if you think you cannot: you cannot. Once again, when I spoke to Dr Noran, a neurologist, about how I was having reactions to seeing school buses and hearing sirens, he said "that's post traumatic stress disorder, it will fade away, you will heal and be fine". Thank you Dr. Noran : ).
Now - I still get growley at school buses, then..I laugh at myself. I still hear sirens and cringe a little, who doesn't? I had to let that go. I live very close to the fire and police stations and bus garage!
I let that go ...and now? I am learning internal martial arts, I am planning to teach yoga teacher training in Costa Rica, I am married to a beautiful, loving and spiritual man. I have a future to live in to that is filled with love, beauty and joy. Namaste
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Structures of Support
In yoga classes I have been talking to students about building structures of support. In an asana (pose), we begin with where our body is touching the mat, the ground. In seated pose, or in standing poses. Where our body is touching the mat is where it begins.
We are building from the ground up. Wthout the feet being solidly planted, we cannot stand firmly. When we stand firmly, the rest of the body feels supported. We bring our awareness up and out from that grounding, that support.
This is only one thing yoga teaches us, and it is one of the most powerful practices we can do now. In March 2011 we – all human beings on the earth – were knocked off of our feet. Our planet, the earth, shook us at our foundation. It moved so intensely (even before Japan’s earthquake it had started), that the earthquake and tsunami was felt by us all around the planet.
We were shocked. Those closest have died, aftershocks are continuing, we are feeling it in Minnesota. I see it in my classes and on that mat – this impact. No one was left untouched.
People are experiencing helplessness, confusion, disorientation, shock. . . This is all the first stage of grieving. We want to deny change and fight it. Resisting change is painful, so we try to numb.
As we allow ourselves to experience our pain at the fullest, that experience is like a tidal wave, an emotional, psychic, tsunami.
Those of us who have had a practice of grounding, be it in martial arts, yoga, meditation practice. Or prayer and the practice & discipline of going to church. We have something – someone – many someones our community to turn to. . . Wherever we have been practicing planting our feet or our seat.
When something knocks us off our feet, it is time to wake up, look around – look what happened, start rebuilding – from the ground up. It begins for me at home. I stay home and reflect. Look at my house – it needs cleaning, I clear it. I realize where I have not been connecting in my community. From my home base where I gather my strength and rest, I reach out and say “I love you”.
From my foundation, my structure of support, I go to my job – the yoga studio – and teach others how to build their body foundation. Plant your feet so that you feel powerful. Don’t lean, have your feet be strong and flexible first.
From that foundation, and practice, you can reach out and help those who need it – right next door. Your neighbor, the person you meet. You are not helpless. You can be aware, take care of you, get strong, rooted and grow up from there. Go help, and recognize when your body and mouth needs a rest. There are many human beings. We are all connected. Trust that there is a plan to handle it all without you doing it all.
Whether you are alone, or with others, the most powerful practice you can do is listen. Listen to what you need to be well. Listen to your heart. Listen to your soul’s yearning. In meditation listen. When you are with others: listen. My spiritual guide, Ishwar Puri, gave me a simple way to remember this:
“The Mind always talks and never listens. The Soul always listens and never talks.”
Listen for the whispers of your soul, if you are ignoring that, you cannot listen to others. You will be in the practice of “not listening”
With that I leave you with Thich Nhat Hanh’s “Listening to Give Relief”
"Deep listening, compassionate listening is not listening with the purpose of analyzing or even uncovering what has happened in the past. You listen first of all in order to give the other person relief, a chance to speak out, to feel that someone finally understands him or her. Deep listening is the kind of listening that helps us to keep compassion alive while the other speaks, which may be for half an hour or forty-five minutes. During this time you have in mind only one idea, one desire: to listen in order to give the other person the chance to speak out and suffer less. This is your only purpose. Other things like analyzing, understanding the past, can be a by-product of this work. But first of all listen with compassion." Thich Nhat Hanh
We are building from the ground up. Wthout the feet being solidly planted, we cannot stand firmly. When we stand firmly, the rest of the body feels supported. We bring our awareness up and out from that grounding, that support.
This is only one thing yoga teaches us, and it is one of the most powerful practices we can do now. In March 2011 we – all human beings on the earth – were knocked off of our feet. Our planet, the earth, shook us at our foundation. It moved so intensely (even before Japan’s earthquake it had started), that the earthquake and tsunami was felt by us all around the planet.
We were shocked. Those closest have died, aftershocks are continuing, we are feeling it in Minnesota. I see it in my classes and on that mat – this impact. No one was left untouched.
People are experiencing helplessness, confusion, disorientation, shock. . . This is all the first stage of grieving. We want to deny change and fight it. Resisting change is painful, so we try to numb.
As we allow ourselves to experience our pain at the fullest, that experience is like a tidal wave, an emotional, psychic, tsunami.
Those of us who have had a practice of grounding, be it in martial arts, yoga, meditation practice. Or prayer and the practice & discipline of going to church. We have something – someone – many someones our community to turn to. . . Wherever we have been practicing planting our feet or our seat.
When something knocks us off our feet, it is time to wake up, look around – look what happened, start rebuilding – from the ground up. It begins for me at home. I stay home and reflect. Look at my house – it needs cleaning, I clear it. I realize where I have not been connecting in my community. From my home base where I gather my strength and rest, I reach out and say “I love you”.
From my foundation, my structure of support, I go to my job – the yoga studio – and teach others how to build their body foundation. Plant your feet so that you feel powerful. Don’t lean, have your feet be strong and flexible first.
From that foundation, and practice, you can reach out and help those who need it – right next door. Your neighbor, the person you meet. You are not helpless. You can be aware, take care of you, get strong, rooted and grow up from there. Go help, and recognize when your body and mouth needs a rest. There are many human beings. We are all connected. Trust that there is a plan to handle it all without you doing it all.
Whether you are alone, or with others, the most powerful practice you can do is listen. Listen to what you need to be well. Listen to your heart. Listen to your soul’s yearning. In meditation listen. When you are with others: listen. My spiritual guide, Ishwar Puri, gave me a simple way to remember this:
“The Mind always talks and never listens. The Soul always listens and never talks.”
Listen for the whispers of your soul, if you are ignoring that, you cannot listen to others. You will be in the practice of “not listening”
With that I leave you with Thich Nhat Hanh’s “Listening to Give Relief”
"Deep listening, compassionate listening is not listening with the purpose of analyzing or even uncovering what has happened in the past. You listen first of all in order to give the other person relief, a chance to speak out, to feel that someone finally understands him or her. Deep listening is the kind of listening that helps us to keep compassion alive while the other speaks, which may be for half an hour or forty-five minutes. During this time you have in mind only one idea, one desire: to listen in order to give the other person the chance to speak out and suffer less. This is your only purpose. Other things like analyzing, understanding the past, can be a by-product of this work. But first of all listen with compassion." Thich Nhat Hanh
Abundance!
My last blog I wrote to stay tuned for more about our weekend away. Once a year is a gathering I attend with my meditation group it is called "Bhandara". People arrive, we greet old friends, meet and make new friends, sit down, listen to a talk, eat good food prepared with love and devotion. We get to celebrate abundance. Words cannot describe the experience. . .
Bhandara - Celebration of abundance & receiving our gifts...
Abundance - what blocks it? fear
What if I cannot handle the success/abundance? business of it all.
The longer you block it, the more you are holding back
At some point you either give up or you allow it in
I allowed it, it is just as intense as I was afraid it would be
It causes my heart to race - my mind says is this panic? am I dying? am I sick?
I cannot breath - what is wrong?
Then Ishwar gave me some words to satisfy the mind
Take 3 words out of your vocabulary
Hope, Fear, Anticipation
what will happen now?
Only what your soul creates in the moment
I say all is well. I have all I need right now
Enough help from others
Enough energy
Enough food
enough CLUES to satisfy the mind
I received a book - inside the author wrote his Acknowledgements to all who helped him
and the last sentence read:
" I thank God . . who wouldn't let me sleep until I wrote this book"
Thank you God
What (who what where how) is God?
God is love, abundance, all that is
the word GOD is too small, too short to hold something that is so infinite
many have tried to name that which cannot be confined or named - how many religions?
how many names of God?
we can agree on that
Bhandara - Celebration of abundance & receiving our gifts...
Abundance - what blocks it? fear
What if I cannot handle the success/abundance? business of it all.
The longer you block it, the more you are holding back
At some point you either give up or you allow it in
I allowed it, it is just as intense as I was afraid it would be
It causes my heart to race - my mind says is this panic? am I dying? am I sick?
I cannot breath - what is wrong?
Then Ishwar gave me some words to satisfy the mind
Take 3 words out of your vocabulary
Hope, Fear, Anticipation
what will happen now?
Only what your soul creates in the moment
I say all is well. I have all I need right now
Enough help from others
Enough energy
Enough food
enough CLUES to satisfy the mind
I received a book - inside the author wrote his Acknowledgements to all who helped him
and the last sentence read:
" I thank God . . who wouldn't let me sleep until I wrote this book"
Thank you God
What (who what where how) is God?
God is love, abundance, all that is
the word GOD is too small, too short to hold something that is so infinite
many have tried to name that which cannot be confined or named - how many religions?
how many names of God?
we can agree on that
Thursday, March 31, 2011
April 2, 2011 Bhandara
We are going to see Ishwar in Rice Lake for our twice-annual meditation group retreat. This year, is very special! It is the year that there is a major shift in consciousness, earth changes, energy. It will be very hard for many, not hard for some, I don't really know what will happen. I simply know that we are where we are supposed to be and the practice of yoga, grounding, being strong, eating healthy. Be happy. Be loving. It is all good and will create the safest and best way to do this. More next week...
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Practice every day
Many of the great teachers - the ones we can trace our lineage back to, have all said the same thing. Practice. The past week, I have appreciated my practice more than ever. My practice is a daily habit. Every morning. Meditate. If I cannot focus, take care of something for someone (service with love & devotion). Then practice my asanas. Observing my breath, my body, how I use my body, how I feel, my mind. Observing it all, at the same time keeping my body strong, alive & healthy.
The practice - when it is a habit - it supports you. How? Well, do you remember how you feel so much better afterward practicing yoga?
You know that when you are not in the habit of practicing...when you feel sad, sick, low energy, upset, busy - any number of human excuses - the last thing you want to do is go sit on a yoga mat or meditate.
If it is a habit - like brushing your teeth - you have to do it. You cannot not do it. No matter how I felt before my practice. I feel alot better after.
How to get into the habit? Read about the 40-day yoga challenge or 108 Sun Salutations in my blog...
Live with Beauty, Connection & Love. . .
Karen
The practice - when it is a habit - it supports you. How? Well, do you remember how you feel so much better afterward practicing yoga?
You know that when you are not in the habit of practicing...when you feel sad, sick, low energy, upset, busy - any number of human excuses - the last thing you want to do is go sit on a yoga mat or meditate.
If it is a habit - like brushing your teeth - you have to do it. You cannot not do it. No matter how I felt before my practice. I feel alot better after.
How to get into the habit? Read about the 40-day yoga challenge or 108 Sun Salutations in my blog...
Live with Beauty, Connection & Love. . .
Karen
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
108 Sun Salutations Spring Equinox
Sunday we did our quarterly 108 Sun Salutations event for the Spring Equinox. Now it seems like spring, but the forecast is more wintery stuff coming. (When is that Basketball Tournament?) In Minnesota, spring is like the biggest party ever and it is known that the state basketball tournament is the unofficial mark of the end of winter storms.
Back to the 108...4 of us attended and we donated proceeds to Salvation Army's efforts in feeding people in Japan who have been devastated by the 2011 earthquake and tsunami.
As I was going through the 108, it is like a moving meditation, I focused on my body. Usually it takes about 30 Sun Salutations for me to feel really warmed up, but this time it took more. The counting is a challenge too, to keep track of which one I am on, so I probably do a couple more in case. However, it is not about how many I do. I realized during the last 30 or so, that the reason I can do them has nothing to do with my strength or endurance...I've done them with a head and neck injury, during times when my energy is really low, . . .like yesterday. I have been recovering from the Minnesota ick that many yoga teachers have mysteriously come down with (and other people I know who almost never get sick). I have had the lingering cough now going on the 3rd week...
No, it is not endurance or strength that gets me through this. It is that I never give up. That's it. I don't stop. I rest a little after each 27 (1/4), but then I continue until I've done 108. It is not rocket science really. It also helps to have an intention. When I thought about how long it was taking, my mind went to the survivors of Japan's earthquake, tsunami and now dealing with rebuilding and possible radiation poisoning. It is not an option for them to give up. To stop. So I won't either.
My heart goes out to everyone there. And as many of my students have heard from me. . . the best thing we can do for them is to be a light in our own part of the world.
Back to the 108...4 of us attended and we donated proceeds to Salvation Army's efforts in feeding people in Japan who have been devastated by the 2011 earthquake and tsunami.
As I was going through the 108, it is like a moving meditation, I focused on my body. Usually it takes about 30 Sun Salutations for me to feel really warmed up, but this time it took more. The counting is a challenge too, to keep track of which one I am on, so I probably do a couple more in case. However, it is not about how many I do. I realized during the last 30 or so, that the reason I can do them has nothing to do with my strength or endurance...I've done them with a head and neck injury, during times when my energy is really low, . . .like yesterday. I have been recovering from the Minnesota ick that many yoga teachers have mysteriously come down with (and other people I know who almost never get sick). I have had the lingering cough now going on the 3rd week...
No, it is not endurance or strength that gets me through this. It is that I never give up. That's it. I don't stop. I rest a little after each 27 (1/4), but then I continue until I've done 108. It is not rocket science really. It also helps to have an intention. When I thought about how long it was taking, my mind went to the survivors of Japan's earthquake, tsunami and now dealing with rebuilding and possible radiation poisoning. It is not an option for them to give up. To stop. So I won't either.
My heart goes out to everyone there. And as many of my students have heard from me. . . the best thing we can do for them is to be a light in our own part of the world.
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