Begin Again

I forgot about this blog.  I started it when I owned a yoga studio.  Now I am partnered with another studio owner and we run this place together along with several teachers.  We all share the work and this is how a studio is meant to be run.  I used to go in and see the work and know that if it was to be done, it would be my job.

When I closed the studio, I needed time to rest and just stop for awhile.  The rushing mind from being the one in charge of running a business, earning the income to pay the rent, teachers pay, and all of the little expenses associated with running a business, being on the edge of failure constantly for the first 5 years....even the final year when I was just beginning to catch up...This continual thinking of what to do next?...was exhausting.

I rested, and rested.  I rested and did not work until something very strange happened.  I got bored and restless.  How odd is that in this day & age?  Did you know that if you just quit, dropped out for awhile from the rat race, that you would actually survive?

I moved from being in constant survival mode into a new space.  This became a quieter space of inquiry.  What do I really want to do with my time and with my life?  I recognized that, since I had a new grandchild, that spending time with my two grandchildren was something that made me feel very happy and gave me a sense of purpose.  Yet, there was a limit to that.  I needed to see them once or twice a week at the most, and if I saw them more, I began to feel drained.

So I focused on what I would do the other days of the week.  I began to teach a few yoga classes.  Teaching 3 days, resting the other two - catching up a home with managing the finances of my husbands business and our household, clearing out clutter that accumulated after a few years of working 7 days a week...

When teaching yoga, I noticed I felt at peace, inspired and energized.  Then I gradually started to help manage the studio.  That was fun.  The owner asked me to be his business partner.  I said no, but I'll still help.  I took on more, getting to know teachers, tweaking the schedule, setting up workshops... The owner asked me again to be his business partner...I think I said no a couple more times, so he said - just know that the offer stands until you are ready.  I asked my meditation master, Ishwar, because his advice is critical now for me.  He said yes I should work with this man in this studio.

So I said yes, and began to step it up even more - - I found though that because of my past experience, and having gone to the reset point in my life, I could feel when I was slipping past sustainable energy in my own body and life.  I found that I needed to set boundaries, something I had been practicing for my entire life. 

I set the boundaries, I planned vacations, I empowered others to do the work too.  Now, two years later, we are becoming a sustainable yoga studio community.  Sustainable in that, at last, we should be able to pay even the owners soon.  Yes, owning a yoga studio is not about the money in some cases.  Staying true to our own teachings and practices, requires a level of commitment and integrity that cannot endure in a for-profit-only business model.  We intend to earn a profit, but by building slowly, upon a solid foundation of philosophy, yoga, benefit to our greater community - only this will give us a career, a "live-lihood" that works for us.

I began again on my own terms and will continue doing so into the future.  My philosophy as a child - about work - was that I probably wasn't ever going to quit working.  I saw my grandfather, and then my father slowly whither and die after retirement.  My mother is also doing the same.  Something about work that gives you a reason for living - a purpose for living - that is an essential component for life.